We do it all the time....

He came out on Saturday night after several hours of telling me that he was coming and not showing up. He actually got to my house at 4:19 a.m.

I was angry and hurt and felt like I wanted to write him off for good. Of course, that did not happen. But rather, I was swept into his arms where he held me for several moments before releasing me.

We later went to bed....

The next day, I told him about the comment that he'd made about wanting a lady and he apologized again. He asked me what I wanted after I told him that I was trying to address his wants and I told him that I want a man that I don't have to point obvious things out to. He told me that he knows what I want and I asked him why he asked me if he knew.

Nothing was resolved.

I ache for him at times and despise him at others. It is all a bunch of unnecessary bickering on my part. I feel that I want him desperately in spite of the fact that I can admit that he is not the right person for me. *sigh*

I suppose that I am afraid of a relationship and that is why I so actively persue guys like him. After the experience with Ron, I am just not ready to trust anyone again.....

I hadn't thought of that until now. I am not ready to trust anyone right now. Perhaps I should meditate on that one.