I fell again....why bother to get back up?

I cannot believe in intangibles. People or promises alike.

I had a final weekend with the person that I've been intimate with for the last six months. It was not good. The sex was fine, but the things that I was forced to realize about him were not good.

In spite of my ideas on older men/younger women couples, I'd convinced myself that there was really a chance of something developing beyond sex between us. Not only did I find that that wasn't remotely possible, but that he deals with a large number of beautiful young women. *sigh*

I feel so stupid to have even put myself through all of this again. My decision to not see him or speak with him anymore really isn't going to make a difference to him and it will make me suffer for a time, but, it's the only thing that I can do.

School hasn't gone well either because I've had my priorities so out of wack over dating and the like. I've dropped my class for this month and will return in February. I feel so lost and fucked up right now.

Why is it that I feel that I'm not worthy of love or something positive? How can I change that?