Sunday, May 15, 2005

Jumbles

I'm such an idiot! I have met someoen who is so much like me that it's not funny. It makes me joyous to be understood and it makes me afraid. I know the negative things about me, I fear that those negatives might be true of him as well. On the other hand, I feel stupid for even entertaining the idea of anything coming of it all. He's in another part of the country, neither of us can drop everything and move to be close to one another. Those points aside, we haven't met in person. It could very well turn out to be that we don't have the same connection in person once we're faced with the reality of each other. We've each developed an image of the other person, but, how skewed is that image? I could easily fall head over feet for this guy and that's what frustrates me.

This is the first time in my life that I've encountered a person who understands my thoughts and views...someone who actually reflects them. It is special. I am afraid to be anything more than a friend to this person, yet, my nature won't allow me to merely harbor friendly feelings for him.

I am so very confused about how I should conduct myself. I am so very, very confused. I wish that the answers were clear and that I could tell how things will turn out so that I can gain some peace of mind. I am so happy to know him and sad too! I move too fast...feel too intensely and cool off quickly. I am such a silly woman!

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