You are sex....

That's what my good friend, Patrick, said to me the other night as I complained that I was tired of meeting guys who just wanted sex. I was a little shocked by that statement, but he went on to elaborate. He says that we tend to attract that which we are.

An example would be a person who is the victim in an abusive relationship. Typically these people tend to consistently wind up with an abusive mate over and over again. The reason is that they carry the same baggage and way of thinking. They believe that everyone is going to abuse them and thus they act accordingly. At the first sign of trouble, rather than leaving, they stay because subconcisouly they have expected this.

I don't necessarily agree that this is always the truth. I most certainly would not like to think that my attitude and demeanor with people tells them that I only want to be a source of their pleasure...well, at least not just their physical pleasure! His statement did make me think about the way that I approach dating in general. I have typically had an easy going approach and will be the first to tell someone that I don't expect anything out of it, that way I'm not likely to be disappointed if it doesn't work out and I'm pleasantly surprised if it does.

Patrick says that this isn't good enough, but that this is rather an easy cop out. He told me that if you don't expect anything....nothing is exactly what one will get. Makes sense....