Musings

Life is about the tough choices that we make. After all, it's typically the decisions that we make that are tough that truly define us. It's been a tough week. I've wanted on more than one occasion to call the guy that I'd been seeing and try and make some sort of connection. The only thing that's stopped me has been all of the great advice from friends and strangers alike. The whole I am sex thing really threw me for a loop. Yesterday, I asked a good male friend about it and he said that my eyes say, "come f*ck me". Yeah, I know, he's a bit blunt, but his point is that I do exude some sort of attitude or aura that says I'm a sexual person versus a nice person.

Granted, short of wearing sunglasses around the clock or altering my appearance with plastic surgery, there is little that I can do about my eyes. I can, however, control my tongue and my fingers.

I've always been a writer and have oftentimes been complimented on my "quick wit" and sometimes naughty sense of humor. I must make a commitment to not banter so much about sex and not use so many innuendos with people that I'm interested in getting to know.

It is important to be myself, but it can't hurt to tone down an area of my personality that isn't very important. I'm tired of attracting the wrong sort of men for me, so I've got to be determined to be proactive rather than bitter and jaded.

I've been asked out by several men and all but one of them is a few years younger than I. I have never been into younger guys, after all, at 24, how young can I go if I want someone who is mature and responsible. I'm not certain that I should go out with them, but I've made it clear that I'm not interested in casual sex...and that I'm saving myself for someone who is special...I hope that doesn't make me a target for someone seeking a challenge! Lol.

My guy friends have also told me to not announce that, but rather to let my actions speak louder than words. We'll see how it goes.