I have a cyber buddy that I've talked to for a year. Tonight he told me that he feels that our conversations are pointless. He went on to explain how discouraging it is to find someone that you feel you really connect with on a mental level who is hundreds, if not thousands of miles away. I could understand his feeling that way. Anyone who's been on the internet for any length of time has probably had at least one person that they've really clicked with who lived far away.
My spontaneity took over and I told him that I'd like to meet him in New York City, (he lives in Syracuse) and we could shop and see RENT http://www.siteforrent.com/.
Lol. *sigh* As dramatic as it sounds...it's not too insane. I've wanted to see the play since I first heard about it in '96. Also, as an avid Sex and the City fan, (who as of yesterday owns every episode created) I've always wanted to visit New York City. I think it would be really exciting and I'm comfortable with meeting him.
I am not interested in trying to make a love connection. I don't feel that way toward him and I'm not one for long distance relationships either...so that wouldn't be a risk. I think it would just be a way of facing yet another fear of mine: meeting someone who is far away that I have talked to for forever. Putting a face to the name and nuances with the words.
A part of me wonders how much of this is spurred on by a desire to run away from my grief over the guy from the summer who, coincidentally, I did see again....just this Saturday! I feel that I need some distance between us and physical distance wouldn't be bad. He is similar to a five pound chocolate bar. It tastes soooooo good but you know that indulging in it will result in a tummy ache!
Continuing to indulge him is getting me nowhere near my personal goals. My challenge this month will be to really break free of this charade and move on with my progression toward----
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