Women and Friendship

I'll be 25 in a little over a week (March 25th). I have no plans, which is partly my own fault for not making any. I am in a dispute with my closest friend as well. It is all very much an issue that only women would have because of the communication style that women typically have when it comes to disputes.

We oftentimes make a few key mistakes when it comes to getting pissed off about any particular thing. The first mistake is assuming that the other person knows why we're angry. While it may be true that some of the people that we deal with on a day to day basis do know what does and does not make us upset, there is no guarantee that they will know what made us upset when we are angry.

The second mistake that we typically make is assuming that the other person is purposefully witholding an apology because they are locked in a power play or a battle of wills with us to determine who can hold out the longest. Again,while this may be true in some instances, for the most part, the other party is unaware of your anger status or at least the reason behind it. Also, many people in general just don't have the time nor inclination to deal with confrontations over what are typically petty issues.

With the challenges that day-to-day life presents constantly looming in front of us, who really wants to fight?

As an individual, is it really worthwhile to engage in battle with someone you care about?

I've recently been faced with this dilemma. While I care a great deal about the person that I've been having issues with, I do not have a desire to fight. For this reason, avoidance is a much easier and desirable tactic.

The stresses of work, school and single parenting far outweigh arguing or debating who is right and who is wrong. We are both angry and feel a certain degree of resentment. We both feel justified in feeling that way. Whether we are both right (which is highly doubtful) is really of little importance. I wonder to myself how long it will go on and what the long term effect might be on my personal happiness.

The short answer is: some. She's been a huge part of my life for a very long time. I, however, have been branching out for a while, in spurts. I will definitely not be forever a hermit, but it is never the same when you are not with someone that you are really close to.

Back to my birthday. A part of me wonders if I shouldn't try and extend the olive branch prior to the "big day". I debate if it will be construed as an effort to assure that I have a companion to party hard with or not.

There still exists on her end, resntment about my not spending more time with her last year on her 25th birthday (we went out dancing and I danced the whole night with guys) and this also makes me fear that there might exist a desire to "get back" at me. *Sigh*

If only I were a guy right now....

The older guy that I've slept with off and on with since last August was out here for the last time this week. He finally got his RE property rented out.

So now I'm out of a best friend and a sex partner....what a way to go into 25!

On a serious note, I wonder how I can rectify this situation without compromising myself. I don't want anyone to feel that they are entitled to my time and efforts. That is the way I was beginning to feel with my friend...that she didn't appreciate either and was not satisfied with what I was willing to give.

Friendship is not an obligation, but rather, a choice. I guess that at this stage in my life, with all of the craziness that is taking place, I do not want to budge on that.

I do not know what I will do right now....