As one door closes, I feel the breeze from the open window....

I used one of those people finder services a couple of weeks ago to locate my biological father. They provided a phone number and an address, but, they could not guarantee 100% that it was him. I called the number and left a message on the answering machine (it was the default message). I said my name and gave my number and stated that I was trying to reach him. I said that if this was the wrong number to also please call back.

I have not heard anything and it has been about five hours. I am uncertain what to think or if I will hear anything back.

I feel tired and slightly depressed. I will be leaving for New Orleans on Monday morning and I feel stressed that I have a few small fires to put out prior to leaving my desk for a week....

Bright's cousin and I talked earlier in the week. I told him that I like him a lot and he went on to say that he hasn't been feeling much love lately and that he wants a "lady" in his life. He said that what we have is good but it's---open.

I told him that he told me that he did not want a relationship and he initially denied it and then told me that he was getting a call and could he call me back. Of course, he never did.

Almost immediately, I sent a thinking of you text to Ron and never got a response back.

When I called Bright's cousin the next day, we talked again for a little bit and then he pulled the same thing.

I called him yesterday and left a message and then I sent a text message last night. No response. I called this morning and got the voicemail and then the same thing the second time. I think that his phone was cut off later in the morning.

I don't know what to make of the situation but I am tired of being in this position with the men that I deal with. It makes me feel like I should not bother with anyone at all....

I am tired and full of nervous energy. In regard to the situation with my father, I have done what I can. Whether or not this is the correct information, I will have done what I could and I can try and lay this area of my life to rest.

Bright's cousin is full of shit. I think that I have done everything that I could to be honest about the way that I feel. I can do and say no more. I will not call him again and I have no intentions of speaking with him or seeing him again.

PQ spoke with Crazy. He was convinced that it was me talking to him in spite of the fact that she identified herself. He maintained that he would continue to call me regardless of the fact that I asked him to stop. He called several times before saying that he would not call again. Finally, he left a message saying to judge him based on his merit, not on what has happened in the past if I happen to see him applying for a job.

He then called me at four in the morning. I did not answer.

I am going to clear my call logs on Sunday night and I will not be calling any of them any more.