How To Lose a Guy in One Day

I have finally figured it out, to my chagrin! Having grown weary of the merry-go-round of dealing with Damien, I finally concluded that the way to keep my sanity would be to cut off the physical aspect of the relationship.

I spoke with him, after having called and gone off about nothing in particular, and told him that while I care for him a good deal, I cannot retain my objectivity with the relationship's status being what it is---thus in order to deal with him in a more fair manner, I felt that it would be best if I no longer slept with him. He acted surprised, but, when I went over the reasons ( 1) we have no established commitments to each other and are each in literally separate places doing only heaven knows what 2) he's made it clear that I could not rely on anything more coming of things from the beginning of our acquaintanceship 3) I have found myself growing more negative in my dealings with him due to my increasing frustration with the relationship status, 4) he has made it clear that I cannot rely on him for anything not even including a phone call), he gave me the "all I can do is respect your feelings" line and claimed that his phone was dying and that he'd call me back. We had went through my trying to talk with him about this a couple of times and I finally fell asleep with the knowledge that he was pretty much done and would not be calling back for a summarization of the convo.

I feel disgusted, sad and slightly hurt that he does not value me the way that I value him. He never even bothered to pretend to object. He likely figures that the bottom line is that he won't be getting any and there's really nothing else to discuss because he is not going to commit to one woman.

I believe that there is really nothing more that I could say to him or even that I should say, but, I feel compelled to call him back. It's not like I have not been down this road before, I will just have to look at it from this perspective: Unlike the situation with Ron, this guy was honest from the start that he was not looking for anything that would require a commitment on his part and he has not had sex with me and told me during sex that I was the only person that he was sleeping with! On the other hand, I know that I am not viewing him as a casual fling anymore, thus, I am becoming this ultra negative person when I deal with him by phone and I don't like that either.

As I pointed out to him, it seems to me that most of the people he deals with approach him with their hands out and wanting to something. I don't want to be another one of those people who is seeking to take something from him. In order for me to be a person who is giving to him and enriching his life through our acquaintanceship, I have to back off in the physical regard.

I am sad, almost on the verge of tears as I sit here exhausted. I feel as if I'm chopped off my own nose, but, I must consider the fact that while he is by far the best in bed that I've been with in many respects, so was Ron. If I managed to happen upon that one, it is likely that I will have no trouble finding yet another man who is a great lay with a lot less drama.

Until then, I guess it's back to the old drawing board.....*sigh*