He's a F*cker

I have decided that he told me "I love you" because he was either 1) drunk or 2) trying to manipulate me into not losing interest after the performance that he put on at his party.

We hardly spoke to one another during the party...which was partly my fault. I sat in a chair and didn't really feel like mingling as it took several hours before people really showed up.

He never told me that the mother of his children was going to be there. I wouldn't have bothered going as I didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression.

If that weren't enough, after four or five hours, we finally sang the song and then he gave a speech. He thanked his mother, his children, the mother of his children, the host and hostess, the dj and even the gay guy over in the corner for coming. Although he made eye contact with me, he did not mention me.

I felt slighted, but, I told myself that we didn't have any relationship established and therefore, it was alright. After all, I'd decided that this would be the last time that I spent with him...

After the group disbanded, I went to get my purse. I was going to leave. I had stayed for the cutting of the cake and needed to get home as my child was here waiting with my family and I had to go to my aunt's house the next morning for her birthday party.

They gay guy (I can't remember his name but he's cool as hell) was like, "You're not leaving yet are you? You can't go right now!" I allowed myself to be swayed into staying.

I decided that I would go into the kids' playroom and do something to take my mind off of things. I went in and played basketball and hair salon and with the building blocks before he put in an appearance.

He played basketball with one of the older children for a while and then got ready to leave the room.

He asked me how I was doing and I told him that I was doing fine. One of us asked if the other was having a good time and I can't recall what the response was. He then apologized for not giving me enough attention and I told him that it was ok. It was his birthday and he needed to enjoy his guests.

He then pulled me onto his lap and tried kissing me. I told him that he needed to learn to kiss because he kissed me too roughly. He told me that he did know how to and demonstrated as much, but, I stopped him as there were children present.

In retrospect, I cannot recall if this occured before or after his ex had left.

You should know that I attribute a lot of his standoffish behavior to her presence and I feel that he definitely wants to be with her again. After having seen how easily they get along and the obvious affection that they have for one another, I cannot fathom why he would not.

My feelings are also supported by the fact that he didn't spend any length of time with me until well after she'd left. Granted his oldest child was there, but, he was upstairs for the majority of the evening.

Anyway...so the evening progresses. At one point, (after the ex had left of course) we even did a duet of sorts and some heavy flirting.

He had touched me repeatedly thoroughout the evening, but, now, he grabbed me between my legs and said something about how it was his and I told him, that it belonged to my parents. This went back and forth for a while and he bragged about how he'd earned it with all of the orgasms that he'd given me.

I told him that there was no way that I'd admit that my ass was his in public and that that was something that we'd have to discuss in a more private setting or perhaps in a more public venue....and he was like on camera? And I told him, hey...perhaps even a live audience (joking of course).

He was like, oh it's like that, huh? Ok. Ok. Although his tone was light, my instincts told me that that would not be the last that I'd hear about that.

The evening went on and there was more singing, some dancing and there were even some jokes told by the guest of honor.

His mother decided that she was ready to go.

She couldn't find her keys and after several people looking around for them for about fifteen or twenty minutes, I went right to them in the chair.

I then offered to help her out to her car with the things that she was taking. She accepted.

Just to prefance this all, he had received and made phone calls throughout the evening. He'd given directions on some of the calls that I heard.

When I helped his mother to the car, he was already outside and talking with two women.

I finished helping her to load the car and then I went to my truck and got my jacket and went inside the house. I never acknowledged him or the two women.

We were supposed to be playing Taboo.

I waited inside the house with the host, hostess, their brother and sister-in-law an d the dj while he chopped it up outside for half hour or forty-five minutes.

The host and hostess were looking at me like, 'where's he at' and I'm sitting there trying to maintain my calm.

I decided that I was going to leave once he was finished.

The host went out and checked on them a time or two and finally they all wound up in the playroom.

The women stayed for another ten minutes or so and left. He never introduced me to either of them.

The host told his wife that one of the women worked as the security officer at their club.

Once goodbuddy rolled his ass into the room, I informed him that I had to leave and wished him a happy birthday and gave him a hug.

The hostess looked to her husband and asked him if he was going to take Chair home. He was like, "I guess." He then looked at me and asked if he was going with me. I told him that I ddn't know if he was ready to go but, that I had to leave town early in the morning so I was taking off.

Chair agreed to go with me and we took off.

As we left out of the side gate, I struggled with it. He told me that I needed to pull it hard and I told him that I was trying. (I had his gift basket that Kk had made in my arms as well as my purse) Just as he was trying to come over to help pull it, I managed it.

I told him that he wanted to play knight in shining wheelchair a little late as we made our way to the truck.

He then told me that I wanted to be strong only some of the time and I told him that that's how it's supposed to be and that as a woman, I should be able to rely on the man that I am with to be strong for me as needed.

He said something about he was always wrong or always in trouble and I told him "Whatever."

We drove to his place with the music playing and not really talking although he apologized again for not giving me enough attention. This had been the fourth apology.

I told him that I am a big girl and that it was his party, I'd had a good time and would be fine.

I got to his house and cut the engine and he didn't immediately make a move to get out. I asked him if he was ready or if he wanted to sit for a little bit and he said that he did want to sit for a little.

I turned the engine and the heater back on and turned on my cd player and searched for a song. He grabbed my chin and thanked me for coming and told me that he was glad that I had made it. He then told me to crawl over onto his lap.

I told him that I had some tricks that I'd learned in the car and could demo them. I climbed over without too much of a struggle and straddled him.

He began to kiss my neck and to nibble on my skin. He then began to kiss me in more intimate places and before you knew it, my shirt and bra were around my waist and he was reminding me of the reasons that I'd bothered seeing him in the first place.I told him that we couldn't because we were there in the car in front of his mother's house. I asked him what if someone saw us and he said, so?

I asked him why he was so rough with me when he nipped me a little hard and he told me, "Because I like it."

At one point, we sang "Wifey" lyrics to each other....but I couldn't tell you if it was before or after the bombshell.

I don't know what lead up to it other than that he'd been kissing me and then he said, "I love you" and I remember that he looked like he thought he was saying something cute. I immediately said the first thing that came to my mind, "nig*a, you don't love me. Don't tell me any Bs!" He's like, "I do have a love for you. You know you're my girl." I told him that it was both unethical and just wrong to even mention the "L" word this early in the game.

I don't know what I said after that...or what he said. But the conversation progressed and I sang "call me" and I sang the part talking about having another man and he asked me if i had one and I was like, what do you think and he's like, or is it three? and I told him that I didn't like juggling and that if one man wasn't doing his job, I'd just upgrade and that each guy that I dealt with seemed to be better than the last.

He told me that he hoped I wouldn't upgrade after him and I told him, "I hope so too"

Not long after, he went inside and I drove home.

I didn't hear from him the next day and I sent him a good night text on Monday and his response was a generic night night.

We haven't spoken since that night, nor has he text me.

I don't intend to call him again.

He might be at the comedy show that I go to tomorrow. I'm not sure how I should play it but, I'm going to try and mentally prepare myself for it.

I still believe that his "I love you" was completely disingenuine and that he was tyring to cover his ass after having dissed me all evening.