SoOoOo....

I have had an interesting week. I was sick most of last week and this week my ear and throat began to ache. It turns out that I'd been suffering from an ear infection. My physician prescribed amoxicillin and I've been taking that.

I finished another class. As usual, my team wasn't prepared for the presentation and we began to experience stress and back biting only minutes before class. It is extremely stressful to deal with these people. As interesting and unique as they all are, I'm not certain that we'll be able to truly function as an effective team. It is my plan to transfer to another campus when it opens in a couple of months. In the meantime, I will bide my time here and try and work with the people to the best of my ability. I am, after all, using this experience to learn to be a team player and a little humility.

I got a call from Danny. Danny is a young man that I've been talking with off and on for over a year, perhaps. Last month, prior to my meeting my latest guy outside of the club environment, I finally met Danny in person. He was really sweet and respectful. He made it a point to pay for everything and I wound up doing some things with him that night. The trouble with Danny is that he's younger and I don't see myself ever being able to commit to anyone who is younger than I am...especially with my only being 24.

Danny called me yesterday. He'd just returned from a two week vacation to New York to see his family. As I feared, Danny wants to be in a relationship. I tried to be as gentle about it as I could, but I told him that I couldn't commit to someone that I hardly know. He wants to be intimate again, but, since I've been seeing this other guy, I know that I can't do that either. I am a little stressed out because I've never technically gotten rid of a guy before. I typically just stop taking his calls and eventually he gets the message. I am learning that for some men, that just doesn't work. In addition to that, Danny is a really sweet and responsible young man. I don't want to jade him so I'm going to have to be straight forward with him, yet I don't want him to feel that I'm rejecting him for any perceived shortcomings, but, rather that I've found someone that I can relate to a lot better.

I know that it is still very early, but, I really like this man. He's easy to be with..he has similar long term goals and he's mature. I have yearned for a man in my life who isn't afraid to be the strong one in our relationship. While I'm not seeking an emotional crutch, it'd be nice to discuss some of the challenges that I'm facing with someone who has some life experience and who might offer me additional insight. In addition to that, he wants a family and soon. It's difficult to find men my age who are comfortable with the idea of my having a child, much less to find one who wants to start having children right away. He's established and doesn't need for me to help him to pay his bills or to figure out what to do with his life. I'm tired of feeling that I'm the man in my relationships with men.

It's my feeling that even if things don't work out with this particular man, I will probably continue to try dating older men.