I said "No"

I turned down sex with someone that I've wanted for five or six years. It doesn't sound all that hard, but it was. I had to make a conscious choice to not allow myself to use him to put space between me and the last guy that I was with. As I explained to him, if I don't want men to use me for sex, I have to stop giving in to casual sex. I told him that he knew that I was vulnerable and that he was behaving badly by trying to get me into the sack at a time like this. He said that he understood and that he agreed that we shouldn't have sex. I don't know how reformed he is, but he certainly listened to my speech quite patiently! Lol.

I'm sure that I will feel bad about it later, but I feel that I really deserve better than that. A warm embrace for a few minutes while I wish that it were someone else holding me is not my idea of a passionate experience. I did do the right thing! I did!