December

December was a pretty crazy month. I began to see this guy that I saw performing at a comedy show.

I was initially attracted to him because he was cute. The catch is that he is in a wheelchair. I did not have a problem with this as I'd talked to a guy that was paralyzed back when I was 19.

Things moved pretty fast and became sexual when I went to see him perform the Friday following Thanksgiving.

My gf had rode out with me to see the show and to possibly meet up with a guy from a neighboring town. When she made the decision to meet up with her guy, I agreed to take her to the guy's house and then drive myself home.

The comedian called me to see if I'd made it home safely and when I told him what my plans were, he invited me back to his place.

I didn't think that I'd be at risk of anything happening as I didn't assume that he would be able to perform and even if he could, the guy didn't have use of his legs, what could he do to me?

It turns out that he was incredibly strong and some things did happen. We didn't go all the way, but, it became glaringly apparent that he knew exactly what to do in order to please me.

This led to my driving out to see him just about every weekend through last weekend.

He asked me to dress up for him as he's "never seen" me wear make up not even "lipstick". Whatever the case, he kept commenting on how sexy I looked and how all of the men at the party were checking me out. *As if*

I was on my period, and wearing an Instead. I told him that we could not do anything, but, he insisted.

He tried a lot of different things, but, I wasn't really feeling it. I was really tired, so, after an hour or two, we finally stopped. It turns out that his d*ck got pretty scraped up from the Instead, according to what he told me later that week. Ick!

I was at work when he told me this, so he told me to call him back later and closed with "lover". I called him back and he never returned my call...

Things have happened pretty much the same way that they have with the other guys. Everything's hot and heavy, lots of phone calls and then the calls become more spaced out. He has started not returning my calls altogether and doing that, let me call you right back thing...*sigh*

Ron called me the Friday prior to New Year's Eve. Mind you, I hadn't sent him a message on Christmas as I had not heard back from him when I sent out my standard holiday message on Thanksgiving.

He inquired about my family and told me that he wanted to wish me a Happy New Year and instructed me to be safe. He then asked me if I was happy. What an odd question coming from someone that I haven't heard from in months.

I chalked it up to he must be having issues with the current lady or ladies in his life...

I tried sending a message to Damien on New Year's Eve but the circuits were busy so my message did not go through.

I miss him...or at least the sex.

He was a user though. I did not send any additional messages when I found that that one did not go through.

I gave some guy from the auto parts store my number yesterday. He doesn't sound smart and I dread his next call.

I am tired and feeling depressed because my room is a complete mess and I haven't heard from the guy that I've been sleeping with.

I am so tired of the same cycle of behavior in my life.


************************************WORK******************************************
I went to Walnut Creek to be certified to train Civil Treatment courses for the company.

I had a terrible cold as well as wound up with food poisoning. I had to be picked up by relatives and driven back home.

I got an assistant to help me to staff for the nearly 200 new employees that my client group demanded.

They wound up reducing the number to 110 and with an additional 60 other employees to assist with customer sales issues.

I have had issues with a couple of the supervisors for the department (women) that have tried to bully me into making exceptions for some of the people that they want to hire.

The trouble came in when the people did not follow company protocol when it came to the application process.

I have been unwilling to make exceptions as it would be unethical. For this reason, they have waged a personal vendetta against me, or at least, that is how it has seemed. *sigh*

I don't think that it would get to me as much if I weren't blowing my nose every five minutes.

**************************************SCHOOL**************************************
I'm in my first Upper Division course in school and I'm not certain how I am feeling about that.

I cannot wait to be finished with school. I just cannot wait.

In conclusion, I just wish that I didn't allow other people to impact the way I feel so much.

I have felt depressed all weekend long because this guy has not returned my phone call.

I suppose that the best thing that I can do for myself is to really focus on doing more things when I am off work so that I don't have time to worry about the other stuff.

I deleted him from my phonebook. I have decided not to call anymore.

I know that he will call back...at some point. They almost always do.

The key is to ensure that I am not there to answer......